'It Doesn't Seem Real': Friend Reacts After Oklahoma City Family Found Dead In Apparent Murder-Suicide

Police are investigating what led to the tragic murders of a metro family. 

Police said Ruben Armendariz, 28, shot and killed his three children, estranged wife and himself. 

Related: 5 Killed In Apparent NW Oklahoma City Murder-Suicide Identified

Family and friends told News 9 on Thursday the married couple was separated. A relative said Cassandra Flores, 29, and her three children lived with her father. They said he made the horrific discovery late Wednesday night and called police.

“I just had to come by and see the house because it doesn’t seem real,” said family friend Jennifer Johnson.

A home Johnson had fond memories of, until now. She grew up in northwest Oklahoma City. Johnson said Flores and Armendariz met as teenagers.

“They’ve been together since she was like 17,” Johnson said. “They’ve been together for a long time.”

The couple had three children together ages nine, five and two-year-old.

“Hillary, she was the 9-year-old,” Johnson said. “So smart and just really mature for her age.”

Johnson could not believe she will never see the family again. Police were called to the home near Northwest 5th Terrace and Greenvale Road late Wednesday night.

“When they arrived, they came across a family member that lives at the address,” Captain Valerie Littlejohn with the Oklahoma City Police Department said. “That family member reported when he arrived. He did locate several of his family members deceased at the home.”

Police said Armendariz shot and killed Flores and their three children inside the home. He then turned the gun on himself in the front yard.

“It’s just not real,” Johnson said. “I never expected that of Ruben at all. Like he was so quiet.”

She knew the couple was having problems but never thought it would end tragically.

“She said that he was bothering her a lot and was more worried about her than the kids,” Johnson said. “He was really depressed.”

The family has started a GoFundMe to raise money for the burials of Flores and her children.

-----------

What is Domestic Violence?

The Office on Violence Against Women describes Domestic Violence as a pattern of abusive behavior in a relationship used by a person to gain or maintain power and control over another intimate partner. Domestic Violence can be physical, sexual, emotional, psychological, and involves behaviors that threaten, hurt, isolate, manipulate, humiliate, or injure another person. Children exposed to domestic violence are at risk of developing social and physical problems or learning that violence is a normal way of life.

How does Oklahoma compare nationally in Domestic Violence?

The Domestic Violence Intervention Services said Oklahoma ranks first in the country for the most domestic violence cases. Oklahoma is third in domestic violence homicides. The Young Women's Christian Association reported over 43,000 domestic violence calls in Oklahoma in 2022, which resulted in almost 1,000 arrests.

For more information about Oklahomans impacted by Domestic Violence, click here.

What are some resources for Domestic Violence victims in Oklahoma?

The Oklahoma Domestic Violence hotline, (800) 522-SAFE (7233), and the 24-hour Safeline 1-800-522-SAFE (7233), provide assistance with safety planning, crisis intervention, emergency shelter and advocacy to victims of domestic violence, sexual assault, stalking. The Abuse Hotline 1-800-522-3511 and the Elder Abuse Hotline 1-800-522-3511 also provide resources for escaping abusive situations.

For the full list of Oklahoma Domestic Violence resources, click here.

How often do people experience Domestic Violence in the United States?

In the United States, more than 10 million adults experience domestic violence annually. On average, domestic violence hotlines nationwide receive over 19,000 calls.

For more information from The National Coalition Against Domestic Violence, click here.

What are some National resources for Domestic Violence?

The National Domestic Violence Hotline (800) 799-7233 and the National Dating Abuse Helpline (866) 331-9474 for those in abusive situations or relationships. The Rape Abuse Incest National Network (800) 656-4673 also helps in cases of rape or incest.

The StrongHearts Native Helpline (844) 762-8483 helps culturally-specific helpline for Native Americans impacted by domestic, dating and sexual violence.

The National Child Abuse Hotline/Childhelp (800) 422-4453) is for any child who is being abused or neglected. The National Center for Elder Abuse 1-855-500-3537 will help with elder abuse, neglect, and exploitation.

For the full list of National Domestic Violence resources, click here.