Child Development Expert Gives Advice For Parents On School Struggles

Kendra Morgan is a child development expert and the founder of Building All Children.

She sat down with Dave Davis on News On 6 at 9 to answer questions about how to help children who are struggling in school.

Dave: OK, so how early in the school year is it too early to be concerned?

Morgan: Well, I mean, first, don't panic, right? They have been on summer break. Most children regress a little bit, so let's give them some time to get into a routine, to get their days going. It's still really early in the school year.

Dave: What are some examples of things that parents or caretakers will tell you? Say, like, “I'm concerned about this or that", some common ones.

Dave: So, I would say some common ones are not following orders, not following instructions, not lining g up and not picking up on transitions. They usually wait a while for the academic peace. Sometimes this is the first time to step into a school setting, so they wait a bit on the academic peace. But if they're not following orders, following instructions, then that seems to be the main concern early on.

Morgan: You found that research shows parents usually wait almost too long to act on what their mind is telling them.

Dave: I highly encourage a family, if they are hearing concerns from the school, from the teacher, principal, to just start seeking some help. There's no reason to wait. It doesn't mean something majorly is wrong, but we've got to figure out why there's concerns. Yeah, research shows that 44% of families will wait over a year to get help, and there's no reason to. Tulsa has great resources; they don't need to wait.

Morgan: And we're going to talk about building all children before. It's something my family has used, that you're in charge of, and I want to get to that, but there's a three-step process starting with don't panic, right? When you start to see these things.

Dave: Yeah, so when that teacher starts to mention concerns, I always say highly respect the teacher. Don't panic. It doesn't mean you have to just panic and talk bad about the teacher. Talk bad about you know, the child. Just take a deep breath. Listen to what the teacher has to tell you, even if you 100% disagree with it, just listen. Listen to what they're telling you. It's different being at home than being in a school setting. So listen to what the teacher is telling you about their child.

Morgan: Not talking bad about the teacher with the child. This is a big thing, and it's super easy to do as a parent, especially if you don't agree with what the teachers say.

Dave: Exactly. So this is the thing: when they are telling you concerns about your child, we get defensive. They're our children; they're our babies, but take a deep breath. Do not talk bad about the teacher, even if you 100% disagree. Set up a meeting, have a one-on-one conversation, conversation, figure out what's going on, but don't talk bad about the teacher in front of the child. We want that child to respect authority. We want them to respect their teacher. So as a caregiver, it's hard, but we just kind of have to take that deep, deep breath and figure out what's going on.

Morgan: Respecting authority may be something that the students are struggling with on multiple levels, but it can maybe start with talking good about them.

Dave: Yeah, and they have to learn that a teacher is an authority figure in their life, and they have to respect that, and that is a life skill. They're always going to have a boss; they're always going to have a coach. They're always going to have someone that's in charge of them, and we have to teach children to respect that. So what the teacher says, the child does, and if you disagree with that, then you meet one on one with the teacher. You don't talk bad about the teacher in front of the child.

Dave: Let's talk about Building All Children because I wanted you to take some time here to tell people what you do and how you help assess children to get them to the next step.

Morgan: We are an early childhood program. So, we assess children from birth up to fourth grade. Our whole goal is to help figure out how the child is made, what they're good at and what they're falling behind in. The areas they are falling behind in, we want to help the families connect to resources. We are not a therapy program. Tulsa has great therapy programs. People don't know where to go to get the right therapy. So, we want to help connect the child to the right therapist. The other thing is, there's a lot of children that don't need therapy. Those are the children that we want to catch and help the families build those skills at home and not spend a lot of money on therapy. We are a very safe place to come. So if you're hearing concerns about your child, I highly encourage you to call Building All Children. We do not diagnose. It's not what we're about. If we feel that a child needs a diagnosis, then we're going to help you connect to the right place in town to get that diagnosis. But we look at the big picture, and we help the families build a strong family.

To learn more information, you can call (918) 398-6127 or visit the Building All Children website.